Dual....:-)
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
