took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
no you cant smoke seaweed
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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