oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
