I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
