once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
NoShamevember. You game?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
