OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
