Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Randomize