this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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