is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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