Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize