So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
