Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
