fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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