it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
