we have pet lesbian snakes
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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