you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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