Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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