NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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