I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
