Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
