1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
