Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
