i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
pray to the hookup gods
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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