i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
