so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
