we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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