he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize