i think my tv is drunk
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
