One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
