You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
