what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
