I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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