chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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