Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
