Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm at about main and main street
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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