I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Randomize
