i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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