Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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