we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
