problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize
