She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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