I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
