Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize