She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
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