Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
