32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
