u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
