Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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