my mouth tastes like poor choices
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
