Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
