First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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