What did we do last night that was yellow?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
