It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
