my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
we're making bets on your personal life
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
