meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
