guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
