walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize