Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Can you bring me the toilet please
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
