i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
