He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
