It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
